Styling your wardrobe for a busy lifestyle

I love clothes. I can’t remember exactly when this love affair began but I attribute it to both my parents (my mum has four wardrobes, no less, and my dad was always keen on fashion and looking good). As a teenager, I began to experiment with vintage and retro items and following minor studies in Fashion (among other creative disciplines) at university, I began to curate a wardrobe containing, realistically, more items than I could count, let alone wear. My vast collection now comprises an eclectic mix of high street, fast fashion, vintage and handmade with items ranging from family gems I’ll never part with and firm favourite style staples, to quick-fix, impulse purchases that will no doubt rarely be worn and will one day be sold or passed on, or donated to charity.

The pre-parent me had a wardrobe clearout every once in a while but didn’t see having a streamlined, organised, capsule collection of items as a priority. The ‘old me’ could quite easily try on multiple outfits (at best wasting lots of time and at worst, making me late) until I found the right thing to wear. I am not proud, but my husband will attest to the fact that I did, once or twice, practically empty my whole wardrobe only to declare that I had ‘nothing to wear’.

As any parent will tell you, organisation is key. Time becomes more precious. Me time, time with your partner, time with friends/family, time with your little one- it’s the one thing that always feels compromised. As a new mum, initially, the thought of dressing your new body is quite intimidating, as is the idea of going clothes shopping with a tiny baby! I quickly learnt that getting dressed whilst looking after my daughter was much more of an anxiety-inducing sprint than the leisurely activity it once was and that if I wished to leave the house in anything other than pyjamas, I needed to overhaul my  approach.

With ‘organisation’ as my new buzzword, over the past 10 months, I have slowly re-learnt how best to style my burgeoning  wardrobe for a busy lifestyle as a mum, wife and full-time teacher, small business owner and daughter, sister, niece, aunt, friend etc. 

I have by no means cured my addiction to clothes and ironically, with post-maternity attire and my pre-baby clothes all still present, my wardrobe is bigger than ever. It’s a work in progress. 

Here are my top tips so far:

Whenever possible, choose your outfit the night before. And iron it, if necessary. Check the weather for a heads-up incase you need a plan B.  I can hear my old self laughing at the irony as I write this,  but it would be asking the impossible for me to ever get to work on time if I didn’t at least try to do this most days. An ex-colleague (and mum of two) was rumoured to spend her Sunday night planning and preparing outfits for the week ahead. Wow, but respect. 

 If it needs frequent ironing or specialist cleaning- don’t buy it! To be fair, I bought ‘unlikely to need ironing’ clothes long before motherhood, but I must say, it does save precious time and reduce anxiety in the morning and means that I don’t spend my downtime ironing my way through a pile of creased, can’t be worn clothes. Also, unless you have a very cheap dry cleaner to hand, having baby sick and food smears removed from those cashmere knits and silk tops could get pricey. 

Trust your go-to-items. I don’t think I’m alone in saying that inspite of owning hundreds of garments, I have my favourites. Staple pieces that are flattering, comfortable, easy to wear and can be dressed up or down for most occasions. My maternity leave was spent mostly in black skinny jeans (or leggings in the early days!), a tunic dress/top and  trainers. I’ve broadened my repertoire since, but really, I’m saying that if you know what you like and it works for you, whether cheap or expensive, invest in items that make you happy. Make getting dressed fuss-free and conserve stress for the bigger things. Warning: just don’t get stuck in a mum uniform style rut- see my next point.

Don’t keep things ‘for best’. That white dress you think you can’t wear with kids? The sequin top for nights out? The lace/silk chiffon dress for weddings? Get them out and mix up how you style them. Otherwise, you are essentially storing ornaments in your wardrobe. Try sequins with denim, nice dresses with knitwear and trainers and as for white…go for it, just keep some baby wipes to hand and don’t cook beetroot for dinner!

I am not advocating that you buy more but for most women, having a baby results in a (even if temporary) bigger body and in my case, different shape. Although almost back to my before baby size, the fit of some of my clothes has changed. When you do shop for your new self, try things that you didn’t like on yourself before. I’ve discovered that I like myself much more now in a midiskirt and jumpsuit than I did pre-pregnancy, and am wearing different necklines to compliment my new bustline too. Since ‘popping into town’ has become near impossible with a little one, I’ve learnt to shop smarter; combining an afternoon nap/stroll with the pushchair via my local charity shop or downloading apps on my phone allowing me to browse and buy whilst feeding. A bonus being that I can try on in the comfort of home and with my other things. Double bonus- returns are usually free. 

Lastly, and perhaps most challenging…be realistic. Having an enormous wardrobe is great if you have time to maintain and enjoy all of those outfits, which is unrealistic for most mums I know. I’ll never own a capsule wardrobe (I read somewhere that the ideal is 37 items- yeah right?!) but getting rid of things that I know deep down aren’t ‘me’ anymore or  are unlikely to ever fit well again is just sensible, as well as time-saving. Take a deep breadth, try it all on (with neutral  underwear that works with everything) and create a keep, maybe and a get rid pile. Streamlining by just a few pieces can make all the difference, and will feel even better if you pass them on to a good home or get some pennies for them by reselling. 

Time-saving quick-fixes: 

The mum bun. Takes seconds, lasts all day and thankfully looks better slightly dischevelled (which is good since time and free hands are hard to come by with a baby!) See Pinterest and you tube for inspiration and a step by step how to. 

Lipstick. If applying full make up is a distant memory, having a great lipstick on will instantly lift your face and elevate your look from tired mum to ready to go bring it on mum. It takes seconds and can be applied on the run. My favourites are by Rimmel and Chanel.

Dresses. My current wardrobe is a work in progress but I do know the power of a great dress. Easy to style under a jacket and over some skinny black trousers for work and with knits and trainers at weekends. I’m a fan of vintage, minimal prints and oversize, and drop waist with great tailoring and details that show quality. I shop secondhand and on the highstreet. 

A great everyday handbag that goes with everything. I was on a quest for a long time to find my black leather cross body bag but it was worth the wait. Small enough not to break my back yet holds all the essentials and frees up my hands for mum duties. I’d recommend Radley (mine was bought on sale after Christmas). 

Simple jewellery. I was a big fan of dainty gold layered necklaces pre-baby so felt quite naked without any adornment. I’ve recently begun to reintroduce these back into my wardrobe for work but would have been lost without the teething jewellery that I bought for my maternity leave. Brands are becoming more fashion conscious now too, so wearing a teething necklace no longer feels like a style sacrifice. Organic Mama is great, or Etsy.

 Finally, be bold and be brave. Getting my figure back has boosted my confidence sufficiently to have fuelled my love of leopard print, which I’d previously been fairly shy in wearing. I also now have a yellow raincoat which now makes me feel cheerful (and dry!) as opposed to attention-seeking. What have you got to lose? 

In conclusion, for a lover of clothes like me, pregnancy and maternity have proved challenging and done nothing to help my bursting wardrobe! However, with my return to work imminent, I have armed myself with a few style short cuts and new mantras and am optimistic about spending a bit less time worrying about how to dress best, leaving me more time to do all the other stuff! 

Mamathrift

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Social media self-esteem

With the exception of a few unfortunate very sick days (on our belated honeymoon no less!), occasional nausea and some persistent heartburn, I was fortunate to experience a straightforward and actually quite enjoyable pregnancy overall.

Picking nervously! Not enjoying food as I normally would on a road trip through the Southern States for our belated honeymoon at 9 weeks pregnant

This was a huge relief given that I had suffered with Tokophobia (fear of childbirth) for as long as I can remember. I appreciate that I am not alone in being (naturally) quite terrified of labour and birth and that pre-delivery day jitters are clearly justifiable as a first-timer. On chatting to others, however, my fears seemed somehow more significant. I’d find discussing ‘the main event’ stressful to the extent that I’d feel my heart racing, my palms sweating and I’d do anything to divert the conversation. I met the mere suggestion of watching ‘One Born Every Minute’ with a nervous chuckle as if to say “don’t be so ridiculous!” At the height of my anxiety, I even contemplated not becoming a mother at all.

Sadly, my fears were justified in that following a calm and reasonably textbook (according to my NCT class) first stage, it all seemed to go wrong from there and my (half-hearted attempt at) hypnobirthing and serene demeanour disappeared along with my contractions and midwife-led delivery. Without going into details (I’ll save that for another post!), I felt like I’d lost any control I’d had over my baby’s arrival and that my body had, in some ways failed me. I was not prepared for the violent, brutal and violating experience of childbirth in spite of all I had done (reading books/blogs, NCT, midwife sessions, hypnobirthing CD’s, endless discussions) to cure my Tokophobia.

4 days after the safe arrival of my healthy, beautiful daughter I found myself sobbing in the bath, wondering what on earth had happened to me and what I had done to myself.

Fast forward around five months into my life as a new mum when a revived ‘me’ began to emerge. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my daughter and being her mum, but due to incredibly challenging early weeks with a baby that couldn’t feed, my first weeks of motherhood were less than idyllic! My body had, at this point, begun to resemble its previous shape (although not yet size!) and my confidence began to increase.

5 months a mum

I attribute this renewed confidence and emergence of my former self, in part, to social media. Naively, I bought several actual books at the end of my pregnancy thinking that I’d do loads of reading whilst breastfeeding in those first hazy, blissful weeks. I did not. Instead, (thanks to the ease and accessibility of reading on my phone) I found a new online community of mothers, mumbloggers and real mums to ease my anxieties and reassure me that a) I was doing fine and b) that I could still dress and feel like myself, the woman, not a post-natal new-mumsy mess.

I vowed to join them in their positive, sisterly, in-it-together outlook and began a new Instagram account for myself, documenting my style journey into new motherhood.

Giving me this focus (however superficial) has enabled me to rediscover my love of clothes and shape my adapted identity as a wife, sister, daughter, niece, friend, teacher, colleague, creative, designer/maker, woman, and now mother and blogger.

It is now 9 months since my daughter was born and I have just made my (well-dressed!) return to work. I am well aware that there’s a lot of Insta-rubbish and online fakery out there too (overly edited, curated and controlled, mega filtered fake super mums I’m looking at you!) and a fellow new mum shared a meme with me that read: “We’re all losing our shit, some just hide it better than others”, but I feel eternally grateful to the online mums who have shown me how to be the best version of myself on this new and challenging but incredibly rewarding and exciting journey. Thank-you.

Mamathrift

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My top 5 buys as a new mum

By the end of my pregnancy, I was really craving walking into a clothes shop to have a good old fashioned browse and was very much looking forward to making my first purchases as a no-longer-pregnant shopper.

My romantic notion of a gentle stroll into Zara/topshop/h&m with baby in tow (looking adorable sleeping in the baby carrier) to peruse their latest offerings quickly became fiction as I realised that shopping with a little one is actually pretty tricky. And my priorities had clearly changed; ‘going into town’ seemed a million miles away from the newborn baby haze of being safely cocooned at home.

In the early days, it felt such an achievement getting out of the house and not feeling anxious about venturing into big, busy places. I would be making essential purchases only. Although this comprised a number of practical items, I didn’t want to forego all sense of style. Forthwith are my top 5 couldn’t do without post-baby buys…

Yellow waterproof jacket (Seasalt), Cross-body bag (Radley), Trainers (Stan Smith Adidas Originals) and three other absolute essentials…teething necklace (Organic Mama), Stripey t-shirt (Primark) and Black skinnies (Gap)

One: A stylish waterproof raincoat- hood essential! Umbrella-holding and pram-pushing don’t really go together and unless I wore my outdoor (very practical but not stylish) waterproof, I was going to get wet. To be fair, I had been lusting after a yellow fisherman’s-style number long before pregnancy, and found I could justify it with baby on the scene.

Two: Go-with-everything, comfortable fashion trainers. As a new mum, one does a lot of pavement pounding. Not just to get the baby to sleep (motion is lotion in our household) but it’s the easiest way to get around without faffing about with car seats etc. and the best way to shed some of the baby weight. I have widened my trainer repertoire by two or three pairs and wear a pair most days.

Three: A small cross-body leather bag. My pre-baby handbag was pretty big. And heavy. In fact, it probably weighed as much as my newborn daughter herself, if not more. I used to fill it just because I could and carried around all manner of things, ‘just in case’. My new streamlined mini bag is not only much better for my back/shoulders, I no longer need to rummage for an age to find my keys. And, most importantly, it is pram-pushing, baby-carrying, sling-wearing friendly.

Four: Dry shampoo. I know, it’s been around for ages and I realise I’m late to this party but it has definitely made my life easier and me a little happier. I can now shower safe in the knowledge that if I need to jump out quickly For my daughter, and I haven’t had time to wash my hair, I can always give it a quick refresh and add some body with dry shampoo.

Falling asleep feeding with no time to blow dry = ‘mum hair’

Five: Lipstick. It’s not as though I’d never worn lipstick before, but on the few occasions that I have ventured out since my daughter has born, it’s a quick coat of lipstick that has made me both feel and look party-ready, quickly. Besides, it also acts as a great decoy from the giant grey bags that one has under the eyes ALL THE TIME and makes it look as though you have made a much greater effort than you actually have. Just don’t get it on your teeth- this totally undoes all of the above!

Aside from these five, there are of course a few other essentials that I rarely leave the house without…next post coming soon!

Mamathrift

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